was born July 21, 1945, in Vancouver, B.C., and was brought up by a Christian
mother who couldn't read or write. My father was an alcoholic and an abusive
husband and father. He was one of my childhood abusers. He abused me
sexually, mentally, and physically.
All my childhood, I loved going to church.
However, as a little girl I thought I was not clean enough for Jesus to
forgive me. You see, as a young child I would make money by touching and kissing
men. How could Jesus love me who seemed so unlovable? When I was 12, I met a
15-year-old girl who showed me what I thought was real love. I started sexual
activities at a very young age. Male or female, it didn't matter, as long as
I felt loved. Yet I was afraid people might find out about my sexual
I joined a church in 1965 and met a Christian
man whom I married in 1969. We had two children together, and while this was
great, I often felt something was missing. I forgot about my past and tried
to live a Christian life. I was still looking at the women who were attracted
to me. (I was attracted to women more than my husband. I never cheated
physically – only in my mind. ) In 1973, I had my second child, but then my husband left me for another woman. I
was hurt and swore I would never love anyone ever again.
When my oldest child was 10, I moved him to
his father's because his father had a home and a new wife, and could give him
the things I could not afford. Their family was more mentally stable. After
my husband left, I had started drinking, and when my son left, I began doing
drugs as well. Things got so bad that a year and half later I moved my
daughter to her father's as well.
Then I met a woman and fell in love – so
I thought. She was an alcoholic, so for the next 14 years we had a very
dysfunctional relationship. My girlfriend beat me up several times, but I
couldn't seem to leave because I loved her.
One Sunday morning I went to McDonald's for
breakfast. When I came out, my mother was across the street at her church
picnic and she asked me to come over for an ice cream. I joined her and met
some of the people she knew. The pastor asked me if I was going to come to
church some time soon. I replied, "The next rainy Sunday."
During the next week while I was walking up on
"The Drive" (the centre of Vancouver's counter-culture commercial strip), I met the
pastor again and we stopped and chatted. Then she asked me again when I'd be
coming to church. I said the next rainy Sunday, and we laughed and went our
The next Saturday night I was out partying.
Frankly I was getting sick of the partying and longed for something
different, but I didn't know what. I came home about and went to bed alone. (My girlfriend was away in Edmonton because her mother had died.) About I awoke and heard the rain beating hard at my
window. I rolled over but couldn't fall back to sleep. I went to church that
day and have continued until this day. That first rainy day I went to church,
I met Jesus.
About a year later my girlfriend and I split
up. The more I surrendered to God, the more the things of this world seemed
to drop off, including the drugs and alcohol. I started to read my Bible and
pray, and I enjoyed going to church. Miraculously, my girlfriend also found
Christ and started a new life as well.
For five years I lived a celibate life, but
there were still issues to deal with. I knew I needed to surrender more of my
life to Christ, but I didn't know how. Finally, I met a woman who introduced
me to a Partners in Hope, a Christian 12-step programme. (It follows the same
basic principles as Alcoholics Anonymous, but we name Jesus as our higher
power.) This programme taught me how to surrender and deal with the painful
parts of my life that I seemed to have buried. I needed to bring some of
these hidden things to the surface to be completely healed.
Today I am still working on some of the
dysfunctional areas of my life. I know that Jesus is in my life and that he
is continuing to heal me in every area of my being.
Now I live in a wonderful, healing
relationship as a woman surrendering her life daily to Jesus. The verses that
I like and know have help me through many situations are Proverbs 3:5-6:
"Trust in the Lord with your whole heart and lean not unto your own
understanding; In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths
Lorna McLachlan was promoted to glory on October
22nd, 2009 after a
long battle with cancer. Lorna was a member of St. Simon's Church, North Vancouver, British Columbia. Her life was focused on helping others overcome
destructive and addictive lifestyles through her involvement in Partners in Hope.
She will be greatly missed by many.